TRIVIA

[jdal]

I agree with jaja we need to get back to the fun the real bench racing! Sooo.... Lets get ready for some trivia... Ill start off easy... Who wrote the book Monkey Butt? and who has read it? The next one will be a bit harder! ;D

[bobjustbob]

I read it, I read it. I have included a quote from the book, but I won't say who the author is, yet.

Bobby

What we're gonna do is have Frank give us a flag start, jist like last week. Except that he's gonna have a yella flag up first. This means that you got three minutes to turn the gas on. Then, you git a brown flag. This means that Frank is gonna git ready to wave the blue flag. Once that blue flag comes out, you got a full minute and a half to put her in gear and git ready.

"When Frank holds the orange flag with the white stripes in his left hand, you should be in gear. Then, he'll get the green flag in his right hand and raise the orange one up to shoulder level. Now, you really git ready. He'll put the green one behind his back and touch his right toe with the flag in the left hand. That's the orange one for you guys who haven't been payin' attention.

"Then, he'll hold the green one at hip level and the orange 'un by his nose. This could be your signal to git ready to go. He'll raise both flags together, but only the green one counts. Except for you guys in the second wave starts. You guys will get both at the same time, unless you run Intermediate or Four-Stroke class. You fellas will get a green and a white one, not the orange with the white stripe. Minis and Vets will get the usual blue and purple flag, and the wimmen will get a pink flag, unless they're a Vet or riding Side hack. I think. Eileen McGraw is the only one that applies to. Novices go on the starters pistol, except in the Open class, where you go green only, unless you're Four-Stroke or Mini Novice; in which case, reverse the flags.

"Everybody got that? Good.

"Before we turn you loose, one word about safety. Some of you people have been flat ignoring the yellow flag. That flag is out there for your safety and it means that a rider is down, or that there's trouble on the track. So, from now on, if any flagman waves a yellow flag and sees you ignoring it, he's got instructions to smack you real hard with a two-by-four. Now, some of these two-by-fours have got a few splinters in them, so it'd be in yur best interest to pay attention. And Willy over on turn three at the end of the long straight has a new BB gun, one of them CO2 things, and he swears he's gonna shoot anyone who over-rides his flag. Fair warning, eh?

[jdal]

36 vievs and no one with an answer I didn't think it would be that hard! NO BOB YOU CANT ANSWER IT YET !!

[larry63r]

Super Hunky! I never read that book but I think I should. It sounds really good.

[bobjustbob]

Yeah, that's right. It was written by Rick "Super Hunky" Sieman. He was the editor of "Dirt Rider" and "Motocross Action" back in the day.
I can remember a "Bench racing shootout' that they featured in one of the mags. They had a picture of a bench with a set of handlebars attached to it.
It was funny.
Bobby

[bobjustbob]

I thought you might enjoy another excerpt from Rick Siemens book "Monkeybutt".

...................How To Tell When You Are Too Old To Race

I raced my very first Old Timer's National a short while ago, and at the risk of letting on just how old I really am, I must admit that I enjoyed myself immensely. While there I ran into Dave McCoy, a gentleman who also rides in the Masters Class. Dave, it's said, is in his mid-60s and rides a 450 Maico quite rapidly.

One of the people in our group asked, "Isn't he a bit too old to ride motocross?"

Hmmm. Good question. However, I was able to get a copy of a little-known section of the AMA rules - a section on rider ineligibility. These strange rules are kept hidden in a vault by Joe Parkhurst. Anyway, after plying Joe with drinks and an inflatable life-sized doll, he gave me a copy of those rules, and here they are for your edification:

AMA Rules on How to Tell When You're Too Old to Ride Motocross - Section 12

You're too old to ride motocross when:

You sink your teeth into a big thick steak - and they stay there
You look forward to ten minute motos
Everything hurts after a moto, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work
You get leg cramps from bending down and lubing your chain
All the members of the Over the Hill Gang look like kids
You can remember short travel suspensions
Your knees buckle easily and your leathers buckle hard
You start looking for the white flag after the first lap or two
You get a lump in your throat (instead of your shorts) when a pretty girl walks by
You get lapped by the water truck
You go out to the track the night before just so you don't have to get up in the morning
Your back goes out more often than you do
You get to know your doctor on a first name basis
You have more stuff in the medicine cabinet than in the tool chest
A lot of your friends have shiny heads
You know everything there is to know about bikes, but no one ever asks you about them
The worst part of your day is when you have to wake up
You still like to look at pretty girls, but have a hard time remembering why
You buy the most powerful bike on the market so you can get a holeshot and won't have to fight through the pack
You can remember when all the tracks used to be "a lot tougher and much more challenging"
You park your bike on top of a hill so you can bump start it instead of kick starting
You break the bike during a race - and breathe a sigh of relief
You know the name of all the Italian bikes that used to be around in the '50s
You find out that your kid is a jerk pit racer
You start thinking about restoring one of "those grand old singles"
You start thinking it's about time you gave your bike a makeover - then remember it's the twelfth time you'e done that
You learn how to hog corners and keep faster riders from passing you
You can limp convincingly after a hard race without having to fake it
You have to go to the bathroom right before the start of a race, even though you just went five minutes ago
You walk through the pits with your head held high, so your chin doesn't rub against your riding jersey
The little gray haired lady at the sign up booth is your wife, or your girlfriend, or both
You try to deduct you racing injuries on Medicare
You're registered for the Organ Donation program and the only thing they've said they'll take is your left retina
Your friends sure look old lately
You're sorry the minute you put an entry in
You just can't stand people who are intolerant
The old guy who runs the gate calls you 'sir'
You start to girl dog a lot about dangerous jumps, dust, lack of flagmen, and mini bikes being allowed to ride in the same state on the same day
Someone says 'Canadian' and you think of whiskey instead of Can Am
You start to tell a story and everyone goes to sleep
You are shocked at how young Dick Mann still looks
Someone says four stroke, and you think of BSA instead of XR
Your hearing aid puts out more voltage than your CDI
Getting in shape means cutting down to one six pack a night
You turn out the lights in your camper early at night to save the batteries, instead of for romantic reasons
Your bike doesn't break anymore
You join a health club and only use the steam bath
You buy a certain kind of boot because the buckles are easy to use
You explode a Gold Belt when landing from a big jump
You actually remember the first issue of Dirt Bike.

[Diamond Dave]

bobjustbob said:

You start to pregnant dog a lot about dangerous

You are shocked at how young thingy Mann

LOL, It is amazing the proboard software left the "Organ" donor unedited

[bobjustbob]

D-Dub;
That is funny. I almost left it like it was, but I changed it and I modified the censored words list, too.
Thanks
Bobby